Stuff Infertile People Like #3: Being told “you can just adopt”

It’s time for another installment of Stuff Infertile People Like!

Stuff Infertile People Like #3: Being told “you can just adopt”

One of the best things you can do when speaking with an infertile couple is to point out the obvious things they have missed. It’s clear that in their single-minded pursuit of acquiring a child, they’ve completely neglected a perfectly salient option in their journey–adoption!

After all, there are literally hundreds of unwanted children that need homes–these people should do their part and save one of them. To be so insistent on having their own child is obviously selfish and shortsighted. If they wanted children so badly, then they’d be willing to take anything.

While giving this advice be sure to disregard the vast emotional consequences of trying to blend a child (particularly an older one who may have experienced neglect and abuse) with a new family and parents. It can’t be that hard to just be one happy family, can it?

Also be sure to do absolutely no research on the topic because what’s the big deal? Don’t bother with statistics on how there are usually way more couples waiting for babies than there are ones available.

Surely you just call up the baby store and say “I want a baby” and then just like that, it’s delivered to your doorstep. Remember those hundreds of unwanted children? They’re just dying to get rid of them all. In fact, they’re having a 2 for 1 sale just like at the local cat shelter.

Of course, you should also disregard the huge financial burden adoption usually requires. What’s 10, 20 or 30 thousand dollars really?

I mean it’s unlikely that couple has already cashed in every cent they have paying for numerous rounds of failed IVFs, fertility drugs, acupuncture and Wiccan fertility rituals. It should be no big deal for them to rustle up a few more thousand dollars.

Remind me again? How much did it cost to conceive your ill-mannered children? Nothing? Oh that’s right, because that’s how most people get to do it.

There is obviously also no consequence in adopting children from other countries and other cultures–they’re just babies, they won’t know the difference. Surely they won’t wonder about the family that couldn’t keep them on the other side of the world one day. After all, they live in the first world now–what more could they want?

Obviously the infertile couple just hasn’t thought of adopting, and all they need is you to point it out to them. It’s the logical step after all if they can’t have children of their own, and besides, it really would be the right thing to do.

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Previously on Stuff Infertile People Like:

Stuff Infertile People Like #1: Hearing how wretched your pregnancy is
Stuff Infertile People Like #2: Hearing how “it was for the best”