To sleep, perchance to dream
Probably the most important thing after learning to feed your baby, is the question of sleep. Or a lack thereof as may be the case. I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while and since Miss Mac and Josey both had good posts on it recently, I thought today would be good.
Let me start by saying, that we’re still struggling a little with breast feeding–the magic six week mark didn’t happen for us. I bring this up because I have not yet had the luxury of feeding Alice in bed in the middle of the night. Right now, I still have to get up and find a chair and some light. I dream of the day I can just whip out a boob in the dark and let her do her thing while I snooze. But I digress.
As crappy as feeding has gone, what I have been blessed with is a baby that sleeps pretty well. So far, I’ve been lucky and I’m just crossing my fingers it stays that way.
Our second night in the hospital, she actually slept a full 5 hours in a row and that trend has mostly continued with at least one 4-6 hour block per night where she will sleep. About two weeks ago, she slept 7 hours one night, but I guess that was a fluke because it hasn’t happened since.
The first few weeks that Alice came home though she had to sleep with me. We started out on the couch downstairs where she slept on top of me for her long stretch. We’d wake up for a feeding and then she’d usually continue the night in the bassinet attached to her play pen where she would wake up about three hours later.
Thus began the practice of co-sleeping in our house–something I not only never intended, but was kind of against until faced with the actual reality of newborn sleep.
Tell me? Does any baby anywhere willingly sleep on their own from day one? From talking to others, it certainly doesn’t seem so. I’ve spoken to so many people who spent months sleeping with their babies because they had no other choice.
What I discovered during those nights, is that my baby wasn’t going to fall on the floor and I wasn’t going to crush her. Though I was sleeping too, my body was acutely aware of Alice’s presence. We never moved an inch. I felt 100 per cent confident that she was safe.
After a couple of weeks of couch surfing, I decided to move us into the guest room where the bed would be less crowded than with both Mr. M and I in it. Again, co-sleeping never felt dangerous to me. The question was always in the back of my mind, but I knew this was the only way either of us was getting any sleep and I continued to marvel at the fact that neither of us moved while sleeping.
As usual, we started the night out together around 10:30 or 11 pm with her either on top of me or next to me cradled in the crook of my arm. We’d then sleep until about 3-5 am when Alice would wake up for a feed. After that, I’d move into our bedroom where she would finish the night in her bassinet.
About two weeks ago, I decided to move us into our bedroom and tried putting her in her bassinet at the beginning of the night. And it just worked. There was no magic trick–it just happened. Some nights, I have to try a few times to get her to stay down, but ever since, she’s spent the majority of the night on her own.
Sometimes in the mornings, I’ll pull her into bed with me because she’s getting restless and I don’t want to get up yet. It usually calms her and we can get another hour or two shut eye.
I did enjoy co-sleeping, but I do like this better as I get a better night’s sleep this way too.
We still nap together a lot during the day. Thank goodness, because otherwise I’d miss her too much.
We’re trying to move that direction, but it’s definitely hard. I agree – I never intended to co-sleep, but when you’re exhausted and it means you can sleep…well, we did it! Isn’t it pretty cool how you really are acutely aware of your baby’s presence on your chest or cuddled up next to you at all times? I also 100% feel safe sleeping with her. Hoping we can move her to the co-sleeper bassinet soon, though I have a feeling I”ll spend have the night just staring at her to make sure she’s breathing then. I like how now I can feel and sense her breaths as she’s snuggled up to me!
Oh – and as far as breastfeeding in bed in the middle of the night goes, I’d say 1 out of 3 times she latches on in the dark no prob, 2 out of 3 I have to click my phone on for a little light to get us situated and latched. Everyone I’ve talked to said it gets easier as they get older to side-lie feed like that. Last night she slept from 9-12 in the co-sleeper, 12-4 with me, then at 4 I whipped out the boob and we both fell back asleep without getting out of bed. It was awesome.
Ah good to know–hopefully, I’ll be there soon too!
That’s great that the transition to her bassinet went so well! I figured out early that I stress over these transitions way more than my LO =) We slept our little girl in one of those newborn nappers that fit in the top of a pack-n-play in our room from the time we brought her home from the hospital until she outgrew it around 7-8 weeks. Then we slept her in the bassinet portion of the pack n’ play until 12 weeks at which time we moved her to her crib in her own room. All of our nursings in the middle of the night were the get up and sit in a chair type but she started STTN (6-7 hrs) at 7 weeks…if she would have gone longer I may have figured out how to lay down and nurse. I remember her taking naps on my chest during the day…my opinion, do it as long and as much as you want. Soon enough she will prefer to nap in a swing, crib or other place and you will hold on to these days dearly =)
I was too afraid to sleep with Maddox in the bed with us so he was in a bassinet like thing on a table at the foot of the bed. At night, he’d cry and S would get up, change him and bring him to me. I’d feed him, S would put him back down. But after two weeks I realized I wasn’t getting any sleep because I sat there listening to the sounds he makes at night just waiting for him to cry out to be fed. So even though I wasn’t ready, we put him in his nursery, a whole 10 steps away. I put the bassinet inside the cradle and we put on a white noise machine and wouldn’t you know, I was able to sleep and he started to sleep long stretches. It turns out I was waking him up to feed when he wasn’t really awake yet. I’m such a rookie
Now I sit around waiting for him to wake up ’cause I miss him.
Loved this!!
Warms my heart!!
You go mama!!
xx
My daughter did sleep by herself from day one in the Rock n Play Sleeper that Fisher Price makes. She would sleep 4-6 hours at a time in there and that was her “bed” until she was about 3 months old. Then we put her in an Arms Reach Co-Sleeper because I didn’t feel comfortable with her in my bed. I’ve thrown a pillow across the room in my sleep and have elbowed my partner in the nose many times. I did not feel comfortable with my ability to cosleep but we did take naps together a lot when I was home during maternity leave. That was nice.
Just so you know, it took me a few months before I could do the side-lyin breast feeding but once we got it it was heaven. I hope you get there some day, it’s the best.
I’m glad you’re getting some sleep!
I put a futon in my second child’s room. He slept in his crib from about 8 weeks on, and when he woke to nurse I went in and laid down on the futon while I nursed him (that whole laying-down-while-nursing thing comes easier the second time around). Sometimes I’d end up sleeping there all night, sometimes I’d wake up when he was done nursing and put him back in the crib.
I am really enjoying these posts Elphie they are honest and preparing me for what will happen in a few months time. I wish more bloggers realised it was ok to make the transition from IF to parenting without alienating your blog readers.
It’s interesting what you say about co sleeping as it is something I didn’t think I would do but then when reality hits, you do what you need to do!!!
I have an almost three month old, and she sleeps with me because she simply won’t sleep on her own. It’s the best-kept secret out there: few newborns actually sleep on their own on their backs! I was also against co-sleeping. Ha! It’d be better if doctors, etc. got realistic about this and gave the good advice I had to search for about how to make it safe.
Such a cute post. Really made me smile to picture you snuggling with your baby girl.
I really love reading all the Mommy posts out there now. Dreaming of being there one day. Wow are you lucky with her sleeping. My cousins and friends had a horrible time with their babies sleeping for any long period of time. Glad you are getting your sleep too.
Oh, I’m jealous it just worked in the bassinet! However, apparently I missed the memo about the Fisher Price rock-n-play sleeper and now we are rocking and sleeping for several hours at night, woo-hoo! Then, I’m just as happy when he joins us back in the bed for the rest of the night:] Glad it is working out for you!!!