Light at the end of the nipple

I’m finally starting to see a light at the end of the nursing tunnel. The past week has had its up and downs, but we’re making progress. We’ve still got a ways to go, but I no longer feel like we’re never going to get there.

Last week Alice went through a growth spurt and those are exhausting. My usually happy-go-lucky baby turned into a cranky eating and sleeping machine for three or four days and we got a lot of practice on the boob. As a result, some time over the past few days, things have begun clicking a little. The pain has lessened considerably and I’ve even managed to nurse a few times with almost no pain. (The left side being better than the right side at the moment.)

Alice is also getting the message that I’m looking for a wide open mouth from her  and she’s complying most of the time now. She’s still being lazy during late night feeds when she’s sleepy. But we’re getting there.

Now my final issue continues to be the massive overflow I’m experiencing. It had started to calm down, but then the growth spurt happened and now my boobs are getting a night job posing as fire hydrants. (I keep spraying poor Alice in the face.)

I realize this might just sound annoying to someone who is having milk production issues and I apologize for that. I guess this is the better problem to have, but for now it’s inconvenient because Alice is constantly clamping down on my nipple to try and stem the tide and often I have to quickly yank her into a sitting position as she sputters and coughs on my milk. (She’s starting to get better at dealing with the fast flow too.)

Also, when we go longer between feedings at night, my breasts fill up and get really sore and Alice has a harder time latching on. I’ve been pumping in the mornings just to try and empty them out a little.

At the advice of several people now, I’m still just feeding from one side at a time (which is much easier than doing both anyways) and hoping that eventually it will all balance out.

I also went to a breastfeeding group the last two Wednesdays and being around other women who’ve been through this has been super helpful. They all have stories about how hard it was at first, but then one day it just clicked. I hang on to that hope and wait for my epiphany to come too.

I told one of the leaders that I was starting to feel like the slow kid in class with this whole feeding thing, but they are all so encouraging and sweet. She told me that I get an A+ for sticking with it and I swear she just about fist bumped me. While I’m not usually one to go in for all that rah-rah stuff, in this case, I kind of need the validation.

I’m realizing that part of my frustration stems from the fact that I hate being bad at anything. Once again Mother Nature reminds me I can’t control everything, no matter how hard I try.

It’s a lesson I’m apparently still learning.