PAIL: Parenting/Pregnant After Infertility and Loss
Thank you for all the awesome feedback yesterday–I’m thrilled to see I wasn’t the only one feeling caught between worlds. So I think we should do this thing.
My thought is that we call the network PAIL: Parenting/Pregnant after Infertility and Loss. Feedback on that?
I know a few of you expressed the desire to join because you’d experienced a loss but not infertility and I think that’s perfect. I think the point everyone made in the comments is that what we needed was a network of people that get pregnancy isn’t sunshine and unicorn farts and that being lucky enough to have a baby is an incredible gift.
It’s more about an attitude than a list of criteria you must meet.
So on that note, there are absolutely no rules if you’d like to join–if you feel you want to be part of it, then you are most welcome. I thought the first place to start is with a blog roll of those interested. I’ll make a button in the next few days for you to add to your own blogs so that it can link to the complete list.
In the meantime, please fill out the form at this link with your own info and we’ll get this rolling.
If you have any ideas or thoughts on what you’d like to see come out of this, please feel free to email me at yolkblogger at gmail dot com.
I’m so excited about this!
For more info on what this is all about, please read my post from yesterday.
Cheers,
Elphie
My only concern about the group is for people who are pregnant after loss and infertility… what happens if they experience another loss? It’s so tricky. I guess it would be up to that person whether they want to stay in the network after a loss. I’m very newly pregnant now, I don’t know when/if I would join because of that anxiety! I guess at some point I would feel confident enough, right..?
Absolutely–that’s why I left it wide open. If you feel you want to join while you are pregnant, then it’s totally up to you–only you can know how comfortable you feel with that. Or if you want to wait until you have that babe safely in your arms, then that’s just fine too!
Absolutely–that’s why I left it wide open. If you feel you want to join while you are pregnant, then it’s totally up to you–only you can know how comfortable you feel with that. Or if you want to wait until you have that babe safely in your arms, then that’s just fine too!
Love this idea. I will sign up after Sunday when I will be parenting and no more jinxing is possible
Thanks for doing this!
You could also consider having people post their due date/child’s birth date in your form since it’s nice to find people at roughly the same stage.
Oh great idea! I’ve added that. For those who’ve already signed up, I’ll contact you and get that info.
Love it, I am posting on my blog!!!
I love this idea
So nice to see there is a place for ladies to hand together.
I myself struggled to get pregnant for 30 long months with my own issues but not only dh has 0%mobility on his little guys.
Its been a long road but I’m greatful for everyday I’m bless being pregnant.
Thank you so much for doing this. I’m looking forward to adding the PAIL button to my blog. Although, when I submitted my blog, I found it challenging to describe my blog in 10 words or less.
I’m excited to be a part of something completely again. Sometimes I feel like a fraud or something in the IF community because I have my baby even though I had to go through IVF to get her. But I certainly don’t feel comfortable on the “mommy” blogs either. They don’t understand what I went through to get her. THANK YOU SO MUCH for doing this. I have a place I feel like I fit in again.
I absolutely love this idea, Elphaba… and I’m there like a bear!
Great idea for the many many women it will touch!
Thanks for doing this! Looking forward to meeting new bloggers!
AWESOME idea, Elphie!!!
What about those of us who are moving on after IF, child-free or just taking a long-term break from TTC? I know some people may not want to be connected to those who have had success — but, even though I’m not a mom yet, I feel like a fraud in the IF community, because although we did not get PG after 3 years of actively trying, we did not try to get a diagnosis, and have since realized that we’re not ready yet…
So – although I can relate to infertility and all the emotions that come with it — I’ve moved on with regard to IF in my life…
I’d love to be able to connect to other women who have experienced the pain but no longer struggle with it every day… because that’s how I feel, baby or no baby. (Also, those types of blogs give me hope for the future…)
Or – if it’s purely a “pregnant/parenting” after IF type of endeavor…I understand
Of course, if you want to participate you’re more than welcome. We could have a living child-free category maybe?
I, too, love this idea!
Wow, it was hard to describe my blog in under 10 words. I almost just put “I’m pretty boring.” LOL. Cause that’s pretty true, I don’t really try to be entertaining. When you do get a button up, please tell us how to put it on our blogs… because you know I’m semi-retarded when it comes to computers.
I don’t think my current blog fits, and I go back and forth and up and down on starting a “PAIL” blog, but I would love to have a button so I can follow and comment.
This is a great idea!
What a wonderful idea, Elphaba! Thanks for your efforts. If this brand-new pregnancy of mine sticks around, I’ll definitely join up once I’m ready.
And like SRB, I’d love to have a button even before then.
Awesome Elphie – I’ve been thinking about starting something similar for a long time. Let me know if you need any help on the back end!
Awesome, thanks! I’ll probably take you up on that!
I hope to be able to join this group soon. I am looking forward to the day when my infertility blog becomes hard to typecast:) Sadly, I’m just not there yet.
Thank you for putting this together! This is an awesome solution for many of us who feel caught in the middle. I look forward to participating!
So sorry I couldn’t comment yesterday. For some reason my computer at work thinks this site is malicious? It has just started so not sure why.
Responding to yesterday’s post I think a community after IF is essential. I get so upset when people fall pregnant and then stop blogging and I have invested time and love into following their journey. Lately I have been so upset by comments of I have nothing to write about it, blogging just isn’t fun anymore and I am too busy. It kind of makes me feel like a loser for wanting to blog about my life which is essentially what my blog is – a chronicle of my life. All of a sudden I feel like a member of the uncool group.
There is a fine line between becoming smug after IF and keeping it real which I think is something I have mentioned before that you do really well.
I still very much identify with being infertile. And I still like to support people that are going down the infertile path but I also like to read mum blogs – but mainly those that have struggled because let’s be honest in 12 months we are going to be trying for the next one and for most of us it will be SIF we are dealing with.
Great idea. I am going to put a link on my blog to this page until you get the buttons made up.
Love it!
This is a lovely idea, Elphaba. I do hope to join one day. In the mean time, I’ll follow your PAIL blog role as inspiration that good things do come to those with faulty ovaries.
What a fabulous idea! I submitted the form and am excited to be a part of this community.
I want to add the button on my blog but am not sure where the link to get it is. Love!!
*Shuffles feet and mumbling red-faced* I would love to join this group, if you’ll have me (after declaring I never write about parenting, er, I actually do write about the twins and love to read and comment on other parenting after IF blogs. What I SHOULD have said is writing about parenting isn’t my MAIN focus. And I like mommy blogging and read quite a few of those too.) My main blogging project this year is Faces of ALI, and one of the topics I want to write about is parenting after infertility. Because it IS different.
Also, I just think this is a rad idea and sorely needed. Go, you for doing this!
Dude, of COURSE you are welcome.
Yay
Thanks! I’m going to complete the form. Very excited about this project!
This is a wonderful idea! Thanks, Elphie! Though 10 words or less? Really? I think I cheated and used 11.
You’re forgiven
I’ve been really torn since reading yesterday’s post and then this one. I think I would like to join, but I don’t know that I’d fit in, either. I’m still fighting infertility, but already parenting, though not, I hate to say ‘by choice,’ because this IS my choice now, but, well, by choice. I can’t imagine that there are terribly many bloggers in my position, I think I called it ‘parenting after infidelity during infertility,’ but maybe there will be a ‘stepchildren and infertility’ category?
I think I’m just stumbling around trying to say that I’d really like to join when I can work up to it.
I just found you through another blog and would love to join in. I’m currently pregnant after years of struggling with infertility and a full term stillbirth in 2010. Pregnancy after loss is sooo scary, especially when it’s so hard to get pregnant in the first place. I’d love to connect with other bloggers who share the same experience.
I’ve just started following your blog and have submitted to be included in your blogroll.
AWESOME idea!! I am on the blogroll….but I can’t seem to make copy/paste the blogger button correctly…even though you have excellent directions. Any tips? (perhaps the baby is turning my brain to mush?)
Great idea! Just signed up!
Reblogged this on The Whitest Family You Know and commented:
Something is like to do once I’m pregnant/parenting
I know you can’t plan things like this, but I’m praying to be pregnant after seven years of infertility and a loss two years ago.
Lately, I’ve been struggling with a question: how do I handle things on my blog when I become pregnant? (The power of positive thinking, right?) I don’t want to be insensitive to those who are still suffering, but I also like to use my blog to document my day-to-day life… Thoughts?
Such an amazing idea! So glad you are doing this. Hopefully one day I will be a part of it.
Hi! I came across this post from another ICLWer and signed my blog up! I also read your post about infertility blogs. I’ve actually read a couple of posts this week realting to the same topic. I feel like I’m in a class of my own becuase I haven’t experienced infertility, but I have experienced a loss. I like the concept that PAIL would be a network of bloggers who get that the road to pregnancy and having a baby/family isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. My blog is currently about being pregnant while I’m struggling with the loss I had a few months before it. I know once I have a baby in my arms my blog will take a different course and I’d love to be part of a network of others who are on a similar journey as me.