Oh sleep, you are a mystery
About two weeks ago, I was the most well-rested woman in the world, relatively speaking. My baby was practically sleeping through the night at just 8 weeks old!
She was going down at around 8pm, falling asleep without drama and waking for a feed around 3 or 4 am. (Dear pacifier, I love you with all my heart and soul and if you leave my baby emotionally dependent on a piece of flexible plastic for the rest of her life, we’ll just deal with that in very expensive therapy one day.)
She’d then go back to sleep (again, no drama) and sleep until about 7am. I was getting so much rest I didn’t know what to do with myself. (Sort of.)
But then suddenly, everything changed. What were once peaceful and restful nights suddenly turned into a baby that now had to be cajoled, tricked and dragged into slumber followed by nights where she’d wake up to eat Every. Two. Hours. What happened? When we see a sudden change for the better, we don’t question it, but when things go pear-shaped, we wonder what we’ve done wrong. Was I putting her to bed at the wrong time? Was my nighttime ritual incorrect? Or was it just one of those things babies do?
I was tired, but there must be some kind of mothering hormone that kicks in when you have a baby, because despite the fact I wasn’t getting any sleep, I actually felt okay after the first day or two of this. (I’m being totally serious.)
Anyways, I figured I could deal with constant feeding–that’s just par for the course. She’s still so little and still has so much to figure out. That’s just what babies do. But then three nights ago, we entered a bizarre new phase that I am trying to puzzle through, namely, as some point (and it’s been a different time each day), Alice will start fussing in her bassinet and I’ll reach over to pick her up, assuming she’s hungry.
I’ll try to feed her, but that’s when all hell breaks loose.
Apparently, she’s not hungry, she just wants to scream bloody murder for a while. And so, for about five minutes she’ll cry hysterically and the only thing that will calm her down is the white noise machine. (BTW, Izzy, that thing was the greatest gift ever. I can’t tell you what a lifesaver it’s been.)
Then I can rock her all I want, but she won’t go back into her bassinet and I end up having to take her into bed with me for an hour or two of sleep. Eventually, I can return her back to her bed and we’ll sleep until morning and then she seems completely content and happy.
So I can’t quite figure out what’s going on. I’ve been reading about night terrors, but this doesn’t sound like it and it seems she’s way too young for that.
The other night I went to the hairdresser and left Mr. M with a bottle for her which she refused and therefore screamed for an hour until I got home, so is it some residual emotional trauma? (Oh my god, I’m the worst mother in the world and I’ve already sworn never to leave her again. Even when she’s 30.)
Impending growth spurt? She’d be a little early for her three month one, but I guess it’s possible.
Early teething? God I hope not because teeth + breastfeeding scares the ever-loving crap out of me.
I’m not sure. It’s not that I mind waking up a few times during the night, but that she seems so unhappy during this episode and, well, it breaks my heart.
I haven’t delved into the plethora of sleep books out there yet–I was planning to use the method that things would just work themselves out eventually, but maybe that’s not going to happen. Maybe I do need some more structure here?
Too bad babies don’t come out clutching teeny tiny instruction manuals when they exit the womb.
The exact same thing happened to us at 7-8.5w. I was miserable. The exception is that I booted the boy from my room at 2w because I responded to every little snort in his sleep and neither of us did well with that. Now I leave him put unless he actually cries and the sleepy little honey badger stays in that bassinet for 9-11 hours most nights. God forbid if he does wake, then we’re up for a full 1.5 hour wake cycle. Gotta go put the screaming little guy down now. He also screams bloody murder when he needs to go down. I say he’s just getting the vinegar out. Everyone needs to express themselves
I keep saying that parenting is like trying to outsmart a smaller version of myself who is probably just a bit smarter than me. The little bugger just started to refuse a bottle the week before I go back to work! A friend told me not to get used to anything. Not even the good stuff.
This happened to us as well. In retrospect, I attribute it to a growth spurt, as 3 months is just an average and he started growing out of his 0-3 month clothes “early.” I have also noticed sleep disruptions happening when a new skill is developing. How is tummy time going? If she is starting to push up it could be related maybe? We didn’t get legit, full-night sleep until about 5 months, but with steady improvements leading up to it. And yes, the noise machine is the BEST.
I hope I can assure you that as long as you are loving the crap out of your baby, you aren’t doing anything wrong. They just don’t speak English so they can’t tell us what’s up just yet.
Hmm yes she is pushing up a lot more during tummy time. Perhaps that’s it? And check one for loving the crap outta her
thanks.
I would suspect an ear infection (the pain gets worse at night/sleep), possibly reflux (try putting a pillow under her mattress to elevate her head and keep the acid down), maybe even a UTI (is she having enough wet diapers still?). And my baby started with “stranger danger” fear really early on. She screams her head off if people get too close or if mommy isn’t holding her. Good luck!!!
Oh and my sister’s baby had nighttime colic/gas. Try pushing her knees gently to her tummy and back, and run and run and run, knees up and back, run run run… then rub her tummy in a clockwise direction…if it soothes her, or if she fart/poops, then it might just be night time gas.
You know, it could be gas… I have noticed her farting a lot at night the last few days…
Awww yes, the roulette wheel of possible problems that effect sleep (hungry, dirty, teething, growth spurt ,developmental milestone, sick, cold, hot, gas pains, etc). Just when you think you’ve got parenthood figured out another one of these sneaky things shows up!
One thing to check, since you mention that she sleeps fine in bed with you…could she be cold and your body heat is what is allowing her to sleep again? We went through this with our daughter and had to try different combinations of clothes/swaddles to get her back into a good routine. Good luck, I hope you are well rested again soon!
I thought that too so I dressed her in a warmer sleep sack last night, but unfortunately that didn’t seem to make a difference. Cross that one off the list!
Check out “Happiest Baby On the Block”. It is about “colic” relief, and some of the techniques you mind find helpful.
Oh yes, I did read that one while I was pregnant and there was some good stuff–the white noise especially has worked really well. I’m pretty sure it’s not really colic because it doesn’t take long to settle her, I’m just puzzled about her crying for a reason I can’t figure out.
My guess is a growth spurt! Sleep is such a mystery over here, too. I had a sleeping through the night baby from 8 weeks – 3 months and then he started rolling over and it’s been touch n go since then. I wish I had the answer
I would guess growth spurt too, but really it’s just a guess. Raegan has been sleeping “through the night” according to the definition, anyway. She goes down around 9:30 and generally sleeps until 5 AM or so sometimes a little earlier and sometimes a little later. We’ve done this now for a little over a week. I have to say I’m grateful for her sleeping, but I’m still getting up in the middle of the night to pump. I have been more diligent about it since my stint with mastitis.
I hope you get it figured out. Raegan hasn’t gotten to that point yet and she is 12 weeks old now.
We went through the same thing – and I hate telling you this, but we’re now at the 8 month mark and still fighting sleep problems. I was just like you – we only got up once a night from the day he was born and I was more than fine with that. THEN – well – I don’t know what happened. People blamed teething (nope – just got his first teeth at 7.5 months and this all started at 3 months), being cold (nope – heated his sleep spot with a heating pad while he nursed so the bed would be nice and warm when we put him down), ear infections (nope – has never had one and his tubes are phenomenal), growth spurts (nope – pretty sure he didn’t have a 3-4 month growth spurt), etc. We were back to just getting up once a night once his teeth came through, but now he’s back at it. There are so many things that interrupt their sleep, that I think we just have to go with it. I think he’s getting more teeth – but who really knows! I am exhausted.
As I read this post, my son whaled himself to sleep. He skipped his morning nap and I wasn’t letting him skip the afternoon one. So he cried – because there was nothing else for me to do for him (clean diaper, fed, clean clothes, warm, sung to, ugh!). I usually help coax him to sleep but holy smokes, nothing is working again! He’s asleep now… and I’m hoping it lasts for a couple hours.
Good luck. I hope this is temporary for you!
GAS GAS GAS! Sully gets so finicky when he has gas. The simethicone drops are a lifesaver and getting him on his tummy helps too.. and he even likes the taste of those drops. And yes, she is right around the age for a big growth spurt. Sully did the same thing and then chugged like 7 ounces! It was crazy! Good luck lady! Hang in there!
Try all the things everyone else has said – I have zero advice on the sleep thing. I count my lucky stars if Sofia only wakes up once and she’s closing in on a year.
But I will tell you that we’re still nursing and she has four teeth and there have been no issues. Thank gawd. She knows how to position her tongue to cover her bottom teeth and the top ones, I don’t know, just stay out of the way. So at least there’s that.
THe last two nights Stella is back to being up every 2 hrs to feed (at 11.5w). WTH?! Babies are so dang confusing.
Mine is doing the up every two hours thing too (at almost four months). This former know-it-all has no advice whatsoever.
let me know if alice hands over the manual- I will need a copy!!
good luck and hang in there!
Im so glad its been helpful. Shes probably taking on some developmental milestone or growing which is stressful as a little one. I’m sure her sleep patterns will continue to change as she grows. Hang in there!